my body echoes

I am well accustomed to heartbreak

by men and my country alike.

My body belongs

not to me, in this lifetime

but to those very men and my country.

.

And with these men

it is so easy to blame myself

for their violations,

for I did not protect myself

accordingly—

Accountability in its own right.

.

But my country

I find it hard to center blame on myself,

blame for taking my body, in all its iterations

for themselves. Anti-life

Anti-woman. Anti-

.

It was not I who let the

rise of fascism take

choke hold.

It was not I who gave my body

away for them to shackle.

It was not I who agreed to this

perverse masculinity.

.

I said no.

I said don’t violate me.

I said leave me alone.

I said don’t lie to me.

Let me sit at the table

Do not look at me

like

like you look at your dinner

For eating

like you look at your next business deal

For getting rich

like you look at your sick dog

With pity.

.

But men and my country don’t listen

to breaking hearts that

beat through generations

They probably wish I let go of my body,

my faith in change, my heartbreak for what hasn’t.

Just be quiet.

I cannot

I will not

.

But what a task, when I am faced with

the echo through generations of

losing my body

to men and my country.